Loving Spiders

From Break of Day

For Valentine's Day my wife said she wanted to be wooed so I booked us two tickets on a ghost train.

TRex Valentines Present

From OffTheMark 

Modern life raises so many problems.

For example, this morning I didn't know how many roses to give to my wife.

Would a single one be most romantic or would ½ a dozen be better?

Maybe I should give her a whole dozen.

In the end, I gave up and just gave her the whole tin.

Valentine's Day Chocolates

 

From JimBenton

FACT: Saint Valentine was an early Christian martyr who was stoned to death for selling criminally overpriced flowers and chocolates.

Chocolate Box

From Reality Check

My Valentine's Day Plans

1. Breakfast in bed

2. Chocolates

3. Watch a romantic film

4. Dinner for two

5. Regret eating two dinners

Business Is Blooming

From Loading Artist

Mr Cadbury met Miss Rowntree on a Double Decker.

It was just After Eight, and they got off at Quality Street.

He asked her name. "Polo, I'm the one with the hole" she said with a Wispa.

I'm Marathon, "the one with the nuts" he replied.

He touched her Cream Eggs which was a Kinder Surprise for her.

Then he slipped his hand into her Snickers, which made her Ripple.

He fondled her Jelly Babies and she rubbed his Tic Tacs.

Soon they were Heart Throbs.

It was a Fab moment as she screamed in Turkish Delight.

But three days later his Shebert Dip Dab started to itch.

Turns out Miss Rowntree had been with Bertie Bassett and he had Allsorts.

Vital Organ

From NathanWPyle

Valentines Gift

From Scott Metzger

Giving Flowers

From Buni Comic

Valentines Day Hug

Fading Beauty

 

From Bizarro

 

Holiday Food

From Get Fuzzy

Roses Are . . .

Origin Of Narcissus?

From Bizarro

Valentine's Q&A's

Q: Why did the boy have his girlfriend put in jail?
A: She stole his heart.

Q: Why did the banana go out with the prune?
A: Because it couldn't get a date!

Mass Mailing

Mike walked into a post office just before Valentine's Day; he couldn't help noticing a middle-aged, balding man standing in a corner sticking "Love" stamps on bright pink envelopes with hearts all over them.  Then the man got out a bottle of Channel perfume from his pocket and started spraying perfume over the envelopes.
By now Mike's curiosity had got the better of him, and so he asked the man why he was sending all those cards.  The man replied, "I'm sending out 500 Valentine cards signed, 'Guess who?'"
"But why?" asked Mike.
"I'm a divorce lawyer," the man replied.

AntiValentines

From Meish

Valentoons

How Much Do I Love You?

Valentines Present