Developing Problem

From At Random Comics

Me: I need batteries so that I can tell what time it is.

Friend: Is it for a clock?

Me: I don’t know, that’s why I need the batteries.

The Mumbot

From JimBenton

I was going to nail a shelf to my wall, but then I thought . . .

. . . screw it!

Unsatisfying Life

And then he rose from the dead? I can barely get out of bed for work!

From smbc

Could anyone help me with my Easter crossword puzzle?

2 Across: "Where they nailed Jesus."

Gone

From OffTheMark

My wife has been missing a week now.

The police said to prepare for the worst.

So, I had to go down to Oxfam to get all of her clothes back.

Personal Grooming

From Wumo

My wife got confused and went to see a tree surgeon instead of a plastic surgeon.

Mind you, she does have a very nice bush now.