Oh Oh!

From Wumo

I got a lift to the eleventh floor, and as I got out, the operator said "Have a good day, son."

"Don't call me son," I said. "You're not my dad."

He scratched his head, "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

Standard Operating Procedure

From Christopher Weyant

Have you been hit by a rhythm stick and it wasn't your fault?

You may be entitled to obtain compensation from an Ian Dury claim.