End Of Life

From Buni Comic

I’m sad to report my nan’s clothes horse has broken beyond repair after 60 years.

It's the end of an airer!

Day Off

From StrangeTrek

I'm not saying his autobiography is ghost written but he dies at the end.

Ex-pertees

From Loose Parts

The man who invented throat lozenges died last week.

There was no coffin at his funeral.

Cause For Concern?

From Mark Lynch    

My uncle got daffodil bulbs mixed up with his onions.

He made a Spanish omelette with them and had to be rushed to hospital.

They reckon he'll be out in the Spring.

Birth-Day

From Buni Comic
 

Surprise Results

From Speedbump

I said to my wife the other day, "When I die dear, I'm going to leave everything to you."

She said, "You already do, you lazy sod!"

Old Legend

From StrangeTrek

What's the difference between Rapunzel and politicians?

Rapunzel let's her hair down, politicians let everyone else down.

My Kind Of Photography

From Bird and Moon

In a freak accident today, a photographer was killed when a huge lump of cheddar landed in him.

To be fair though, the people who were being photographed did try to warn him.

Excuse

From Reality Check

Three guys decide to stop for a drink after work on Christmas Eve.

One thing leads to another and they end up on an all night pub crawl.

While going to one last place, they get in a terrible accident and all three are killed.

They find themselves standing in front of the Pearly Gates.

St Peter tells them, "Boys, you're in luck. Since it's Christmas, we have a special policy. Show me anything that shows that you're celebrating the day, and you get into Heaven."

One guy pulls out his lighter and flicks it. "Christmas candle."

"OK, it's a stretch, but you're in."

Second guy pulls out his keys and jingles them. "Christmas bells."

"Whatever, you're in."

Third guy pulls a pair of women's panties out of his pocket.

St. Peter says, "Hold up. I'm willing to stretch a point today, but what do panties have to do with Christmas?"

"They're Carol's."

Pet Cemetery

From Yaffle by Jeffrey Caulfield and Brian Ponshock

This Be The Curse

 

They muck you up, these stuck-up cats.

You may not think so but it's true.

They come and sit upon your lap

When there are other things to do.

 

You wait upon them, hand and foot,

And in return get fleas and lice,

Their hairs collect upon your suit,

They bring you chewed-up heads of mice.

 

Cats hand on misery to man.

It gathers in the litter tray.

So get up quickly while you can

Before the cat climbs back to stay.

The Advice Arachnid

From Safely Endangered

Nowadays when people die of consumption it's more likely to mean diabetes than TB

Death By Laser

From Bogart Creek

Sad news. The guy who owns our local cinemaplex has died.

His funeral will be on Friday at 12.30, 4.15 and 8.40.

Please note 8.40 is in 3D.

Fate

From Buni Comic

Bad Rip

From DeathBulge

How Many Frogs Would You Kiss?

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From Candy Rocket

Second Life

 

From ExtraFabulousComics

 

Mission

From smbc