A bald magician pulled a rabbit out of a hat.
Then he put the rabbit right on top of his head and gently lowered the hat down over the rabbit until the rabbit was completely covered.
After a couple seconds of wearing the hat, the magician quickly lifted the hat back up, and presto!
There wasn't a hare on his head.
An Englishman and an Irishman go to a bakery.
The Englishman steals three buns and puts them into his pockets and leaves.
He says to the Irishman: "That took great skill and guile to steal those buns. The owner didn't even see me."
"That's just simple thievery," the Irishman replied.
"I'll show you how to do it the honest way and get the same results."
The Irishman then proceeded to call to the owner of the bakery saying: "Sir, I want to show you a magic trick."
The owner was intrigued so he came over to see the magic trick.
The Irishman asked him for a bun and then he proceeded to eat it.
He asked two more times and after eating them again the owner says:
"Okay my friend, where's the magic trick?"
The Irishman then said: "Look in the Englishman's pockets."
I've been having sex with a blind woman for the last three months.
The sex is great but it isn't easy.
Getting her husband's voice right was the hardest bit.
