The Great Thing About Cats

From Bizarro

I've got a lighter with a pink flame at home.

I use it to light camp fires.

Helping Hand

From Sunny Street

A drunk girl staggered up to me in the street earlier and said "Can I pinch a cigarette from you please?"

I said "Show me your tits and then ask me the question again".

So, she lifted up her top and bra and said "Can I pinch a cigarette from you please?"

I said "Sorry love, I don't smoke".

Hippo Zippo Elephant

From College Humour