New Management

From Andertoons

I didn't manage to get into the College of Hypnotism because . . .

. . . I failed the entrance exam.

Reach and Touch

From Dilbert

I've got a friend who was telling me that he was feeling bad because he couldn't pay his water bill.

So, I sent him a get well card.

Management

From Dilbert

I was in a taxi today chatting to the driver.

He said "I love my job. I'm my own boss. Nobody tells me what to do".

I said "Turn left here, mate!"