Misaligned

From Andertoons

I had an audition to become the trumpet player in my local jazz quartet today.

Everything was going really well at first, but then I blew it.

Gift

From Strange Brew

I told the wife that I was planning on opening a theatre.

She looked astonished and said, "Are you having me on?"

I said, "Well, you can audition, but I'm not promising anything."

Luck

From Bizarro