Hold The Door

From Twonk Comics

Top Tip: Relax twice as fast by playing your mindfulness meditation at double speed.

Need A Ride?

From Benvinodi

A kid walks from his bedroom in a Tortoise costume.

Mother: Why are you wearing that costume?

Kid: I'm going to that costume party.

Mother: Isn't that next week?

Kid: Yeah, but I'm a Tortoise.

Warning Sign

From Dogs on the 4th

I live near a remedial school.

There's a sign that says, 'slow – children'.

That can't be good for their self-esteem.

But look on the positive side . . . they can't read it.

Baywatch

 

From Reality Check

My wife had a breast reduction last year.

She's down to just the two now.

Ninja Turtles

From BerkeleyMews

Tardy Ambulance

 

From Bizarro

 

Tortoise

From Faceless

Four tortoises were playing in the backyard when they decided they needed hibiscus flower snacks. They pooled their money and sent the smallest tortoise out to fetch the snacks. Two days passed and there was no sign of the tortoise.
"You know, Shellita is getting really slow", said one of the tortoises.
A little voice from just beyond the fence said, " If you are going to talk about me I won't go."


A disturbed tortoise crawls into a police station.
"I've been robbed by a murderous gang of snails, he announces.
"Calm down," says a cop. "Just tell us everything that happened."
"That's difficult," says the tortoise. "It all happened so fast!"