Happy

From Jonesy

What do you call a pig with three eyes?

Piiig

Laser Eye Surgery

From OffTheMark

I said to my doctor "I've got a problem with one of my ears".

He said "Are you sure?"

I said "Yes, I'm definite".

Phonetically Defined 4

From Wrong Hands

Unheeded Warning

From Rhymes With Orange

If snails are so slow, why don't we ever see them coming?

It's just boom, there's another snail.

An Octet Of Delaney

The more I learn about Russian dolls, the more I find there is to learn about Russian dolls.

 

Plastic surgeons can now give you a second penis, I'm tempted but worried it might make me a bit too cocky.

 

50 percent of people who go to watch The Cure actually end up watching Placebo, and enjoy it just as much.

 

There's two typos of people, those who make spelling mistakes and those who don't.

 

My Uncle's a lion tamer, when the bank foreclosed they took nearly everything, but at least he's still got his pride.

 

My Nan's got a dripping tap in her kitchen, which goes to show how much she loves dripping.

 

I've just been to the mobile library and borrowed a Nokia for three weeks.

 

I used to try to make eye contact with people on the tube, but one thing I soon learned about Londoners is they hate you touching their eyes.

Eyepatch Emporium

From Loose Parts

I get really fed up of making spelling mistakes.

You mix up a couple of letters and your whole gag is urined.

Eye D Parade

From OffTheMark

I used to try to make eye contact with people on the tube, but one thing I soon learned about Londoners is they hate you touching their eyes.

Flysight Test

From Loose Parts

Trying to break up with an optician is hard. Every time I tell her I can't see her any more, she just moves an inch closer and says "How about now?"

Eye Doctor

From OffTheMark

Insect Art

From TheArgyleSweater

Buni Unicorns

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

From Buni Comic

Flyopia

From TheArgyleSweater

How Pirates Get Their Eye Patches