Deal With The Devil

From New Scientist

There are two typos of people in this world,

those who notice spelling mistakes, and those who don't.

Satanic Tennis

From Rhymes With Orange

TOP TIP: Pretend you're a professional tennis player by asking your greengrocer for three apples and then rolling one back to him.

Better Impulse Control

From smbc

I just bought a blindfold on impulse.

I can't see myself wearing it though.