Efficiency

From Dinos and Comics

My grandma quietly changed her hair colour while taking a nap.

She dyed peacefully in her sleep.

Anxiety Club

From Dinos and Comics

The hardest part of joining Hypochondriacs Anonymous . . .

. . . is admitting that you don't have a problem.

Busy Weekend

From Dinos and Comics

Why does David Hasselhoff call himself The Hof?

Because it's less hassle.

Dream Job

From Dinos and Comics

I started my dream job today.

I get my own £200,000 company car and a corner window with a view of the city.

Being a bus driver is a dream come true.

Follow Your Dreams

From Dinos and Comics

Wow! What a session that was in the bedroom.

I must have burnt off an incredible number of calories.

I hate putting the duvet cover on.

Something To Look Forward To

From Dinos and Comics

I saw a sign in a restaurant.

"Chicken Dinner: £1.50"

I went in and ordered one.

The waiter brought me a plate of bird seed.

Dreaming Of A Lottery Win

From Dinos and Comics

My ex-girlfriend just told me she wants us to get back together again.

Man, I sure am lucky!

I mean, first I win the lottery and now this!

Overthinkers Club

From Dinos and Comics

We just finished our Christmas dinner this weekend.

These slow cookers are rubbish.

Doing My Best

From Dinos and Comics

How are unicorns fake but giraffes are real?

What's more believable, a horse with a horn or a leopard-moose-camel with a 40 foot neck?

Making Friends 101

From Dinos and Comics

Remember, there are no strangers, only friends you haven't alienated yet.

Constantly Distracted

From Dinos and Comics

Concentrate.

Make sure you avoid getting distracted at all costs.

Otherwise, you'll end Up is such a great Pixar film, maybe their best?

Follow Your Dreams

From Dinos and Comics

My sex dreams are so realistic . . . that I'm not even in them.

Work Life Balance

From Dinos and Comics

The economy in the UK is getting so dire that the elderly aren't getting to enjoy their retirement.

The BBC interviewed 73 year old Charles from Windsor who said, "Despite having a generous government pension, I've had to start working again."

Progressing Through Life

From Dinos and Comics

I've just started my new job at the recycling plant.

They've got me melting down all the old 60's Motown vinyl records.

It's absolutely soul destroying.

Sucking

From Dinos and Comics

Interviewer: "Any weaknesses?"

Me: "Sometimes I'm ill prepared"

Interviewer: "Can you give an example?"

Me: "What, now?"

Upsetting Revelation

From Dinos and Comics

I was about to tell you a time travelling joke.

But you guys didn't like it.

Everyday Activity

From Dinos and Comics

My wife asked me why I spoke so softly in the house.

I told her it was because I thought Mark Zuckerberg might be listening.

She laughed.

I laughed.

Alexa laughed.

Siri laughed.

New Content

From Dinos and Comics

My car is in such poor condition the resale value goes up and down depending on how much petrol is in it.

2022

From Dinos and Comics

I love red wine.

In fact, I've just joined a wine club.

We meet at 9 o'clock every morning in the park.

Reward

From Dinos and Comics

I've got a glass of water by the side of my bed. I can't wait to sink my teeth into it.