Cinch

From Loose Parts

How do you get a snake into Hogwarts?

You tell it to slither in.

Who's Ready For Halloween?

From Liz Climo

I've just been to my Nan's house, and fair play to her, at 94, she had all the Halloween decorations up, cobwebs and live insects in the windows and a skeleton on the sofa.

She always makes a big effort but when I rang the bell there was no answer.

I'll pop back next week, see how she's doing!

Balloon Fate

From At Random Comics

THE INFLATABLE BOY

Long ago in an inflatable land

Where the inflatable King and Queen rule

An inflatable boy in the village of Elftown

Went to inflatable school.

 

At 9am on the inflatable dot,

Inflatable lessons begin;

Nobody knew this inflatable boy

Had got an inflatable pin.

 

He kept it concealed in his satchel;

No one there knew of their fate

Till the boy ran amok in the staffroom

And teachers began to deflate.

 

He then stuck his pin in the building;

It was sharp and met little resistance;

Just a hiss at the start, then a deafening fart

As the school flew off into the distance.

 

Inflatable boys with inflatable pins

Know inflatable parents get stroppy;

The inflatable boy turned the pin on himself

And in no time at all he was floppy.

 

He was saved by a man with a bicycle pump

And a puncture repair kit to boot;

And when he came round the next morning,

By his bed was a man in a suit.

 

O dread; the headmaster, half covered in plasters,

Alive but not up to full pressure;

Not enough p.s.i. but pure wrath in his eye,

Filled not with air but displeasure.

 

"Now then, young man," the headmaster began

In the inflatable hospital in Elftown;

"You've let your teachers down,

You've let your school down,

And now you've let yourself down."

Les Barker

Balloon Hats

From Liz Climo

I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide detector because the constant beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel dizzy and sick.

Balloon Vending Machine

From Leigh Rubin

What kind of music do balloons really hate?

Pop music.

Heavy Metal

From Dark Side Of The Horse

Today really has been a bit of a strange day!

First, I found a hat full of money . . .

. . . and then I was chased by an angry man with a guitar.

Birthday Balloons

Dancing Balloon Men In Training

From The Bent Pinky

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers because I can always count on them.

Horror Film 1

From OffTheMark

Fairground Toilets

From Sunny Street

At any one time a bowl of nuts on a bar will have 17 types of urine on them.

That's why they're called peanuts.

Zombie Balloon

 

Chewdle

From Bizarro

Poodlius Ceasar

From Buni Comic

I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue - Wolverhampton 12 Nov 2001

Hello, & welcome to I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue. You join us this week in Wolverhampton, an historic city with much to be commended.

During the 15th century, the town prospered thanks to the wool trade, which was controlled by the Leverson family, who owned much of Wolverhampton. Their long-standing interest in sheep is evidenced by place names such as Mutton Street, Woollen Alley and Hand-Wash-Only Lane.

The first ever commercial flights from British soil began here in 1862 when Henry Coxwell began his hot-air balloon service to London. In addition, Coxwell flew charter passengers to Holland, Ireland, Spain, Norway and Canada...before realising that the wind direction kept changing.

The town became well-known for the fine houses built by its merchants. One of these, Molyneux Grange, was the original headquarters of Wolverhampton Wanderers Football Club, and became the subject of national interest in 1889, when thieves broke into the trophy room...and made off with the carpet.
 
Let's meet the teams - they're four comedians who just love entertaining people...who knows, one day they might meet some entertaining people...

ISIHAC Intros

Party Store

From Bizarro

Sometimes It's OK . . .

 

 

Up Up And Away

From LunarBaboon

Poppy

From Liz Climo

From Liz Climo

The Impossible Balloon Seller

From Teddy Tietz

Sightseeing