Party Clothes

From Liniers Cartoon

I bought my friends an elephant for their room.

They said thank you.

I said don't mention it.

Familiar

From Mark Lynch

I think elephants are over protected.

But that's easy for me to say from my ivory tower.

Hey Beautiful

From James Breakwell

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won't notice.

Call a girl fat once and she'll never forget.

Because elephants never forget.

Never Forget

From Charlie Hankin

My wife never forgets anything I say that upsets her.

Over five years ago I mentioned in passing that she was getting fat, and she still remembers it to this day.

She's like an elephant.

Avoidance

From Rhymes With Orange

I have the memory of an elephant.

I remember, this one time, I saw an elephant.

Subspecies

From Break of Day

A woolly mammoth walks down the street.

All of a sudden, a dozen elephants turn the corner, see the mammoth, run up to it and give it a good kicking.

After they've gone the mammoth stands up, spits broken tusks and says: "I hate skinheads!"

Biting Off More Than You Can Chew

From Bizarro

From Waynovision

I took my new girlfriend home to meet my parents.

We had a lovely evening and after she'd gone, my dad leaned over and said, "Son, I think this one's a keeper."

I said "Awww dad, what makes you say that?"

He said "She smells of elephant dung".

Elefonts

From Wrong Hands

How To Identify An African Elephant

From Wrong Hands

Only Elephants❤

From Scott Metzger

In The Elephant's Playground

From Sunny Street

Hunting

From Bogart Creek

Theft

From Liz Climo

Hippo Zippo Elephant

From College Humour

Elephant Statistics

From Faceless

See The Elephant

They Walk Amongst Us

 

From smbc

 

Call A Girl . . .

 

Storage

From smbc

Elephants Never Forget

From Liz Climo

A man was on holiday in Kenya. While he was walking through the bush, he came across an elephant standing with one leg raised in the air. The elephant seemed distressed so the man approached it very carefully. He got down on one knee and inspected the elephant's foot. There was a large thorn deeply embedded in the bottom of the foot.

As carefully and as gently as he could he removed the thorn and the elephant gingerly put down its foot. The elephant turned to face the man and, with a rather stern look on its face, stared at him. For a good ten minutes the man stood frozen - thinking of nothing else but being trampled. Eventually the elephant trumpeted loudly, turned, and walked away.

For years after, the man remembered the elephant and the events of that day.

One day the man was walking through the zoo with his son. As they approached the elephant enclosure, one of the creatures turned and walked over to where they were standing at the rail. It stared at him and the man couldn't help wondering if this was the same elephant.

After a while it trumpeted loudly; then it continued to stare at him. The man summoned up his courage, climbed over the railing and made his way into the enclosure. He walked right up to the elephant and stared back in wonder.

Suddenly the elephant trumpeted again, wrapped its trunk around one of the man's legs and swung him wildly back and forth along the railing, killing him.

Probably wasn't the same elephant.

From Faceless