Horror

From Liniers Cartoon

I found my first skydiving experience terrifying.

I jumped out of the plane clinging to a burly man.

Anyway, about halfway down he said "So how long have you been an instructor?"

 

Peek-a-boo

From JimBenton

INSTRUCTOR: pull your shute!
ME: my shoe?
INSTRUCTOR: your parachute!
ME: my pair of shoes?
[later]
CORONER: Where's his shoes?

Masks

I went to the chemists to get myself a face mask but they had sold out.

They suggested that I try Boots.

I’ve been in A&E for 40 minutes now and I’m sure that it’s the nurses and doctors that I can hear laughing.

 From Bizarro

 From Richard Jolley

 From Wrong Hands

I got a cold call on the ‘phone today asking if I’d recently bought any gloves or masks.

They said that if I had they could check to see if I’d been mis-sold PPE.