Showing posts with label Twonks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Twonks. Show all posts

Thursday, 13 August 2026

Eclipse

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From Twonk Comics


And for anyone who missed it, let Roger McGough guide you toward other eclipses:


The hamburger flipped across the face of the bun

The frisbee winning the race against its own shadow

The cricket ball dropping for six in front of the church clock

On a golden plate, a host of communion wafers

The brown contact lens sliding across the blue iris

The palming of small change

Everyday eclipses.

 

Out of the frying pan, the tossed pancake orbits the Chinese lampshade

The water bucket echoing into the well

The black, snookering the cue ball against the green baize

The winning putt on the eighteenth

The tiddlywink twinking toward the tiddlycup

Everyday eclipses.

 

Neck and neck in the hot-air balloon race

Holding up her sign, the lollipop lady blots out the Belisha beacon

The foaming tankard thumped onto the beermat

The plug into the plughole

In the fruit bowl, the orange rolls in front of the peach

Every day eclipses another day.

 

Goodbye bald patch, Hello yarmulke

A sombrero tossed into the bullring

Leading the parade, the big bass drum, we hear cymbals but cannot see them

One eclipse eclipses another eclipse.

 

To the cold white face, the oxygen mask

But too late

One death eclipses another death.

 

The baby’s head, the mother’s breast

The open O of the mouth seeking the warm O of the nipple

One birth eclipses another birth

Everyday eclipses.

 

Roger McGough

Thursday, 6 August 2026

Fortune Teller Interview

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From Twonk Comics

Fortune Teller Buying Clothes

Shop Assistant: How about this one?

Fortune Teller: That shirt is too small

Shop Assistant: You didn't even try it on

Fortune Teller: I'm a medium

Wednesday, 15 July 2026

Opportunity

From Twonk Comics

A Scotsman, a Welshman and an Irishman enter a bar.

The bartender says, “This doesn’t seem right, where’s the Englishman?”

The Scotsman replies, “He couldn’t make it, he’s still at the World Cup.”

Monday, 6 July 2026

Breakfast TV

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From Twonk Comics

One red card, two penalties, five goals, eleven minutes of extra time and a blood pressure too high to count.

Probably beats the usual two Weetabix and a shower before the working week starts.

Thursday, 25 June 2026

Breeze

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From Twonk Comics

My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she's hot, but honestly . . .

I'm not a fan.

Monday, 11 May 2026

Disappointing News

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From Twonk Comics

After spending 20 minutes trying to get the wife’s bra off, I’ve given up.

I wish that I’d never put it on now.

Thursday, 9 April 2026

Going The Extra Mile

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From Twonk Comics

I was in a taxi the other day and the driver asked, “Is it okay if I put some music on?”

I responded, “Yeah, that’s fine, go ahead”.

He said, “Kiss?”.

I replied, “Look, just play the music first and then we’ll see how I feel”.

Monday, 9 March 2026

Ideal Dinner Date

From Twonk Comics

Date: "What do you do?"

Me: *holds up menu* "You just choose a meal from this book of food"

Wednesday, 29 October 2025

Monday, 29 September 2025

Wednesday, 27 August 2025

This Guy

From Twonk Comics

Your fingers have fingertips but your toes don't have toetips, yet you can tiptoe but not tipfinger!

Friday, 25 July 2025

Regular Gym Visitor

From Twonk Comics

Husband: I heard a rumour that the postman's slept with all the women on our street, except for one.

Wife: I bet it's that snooty Cynthia Quinn in Number 12.

Wednesday, 25 June 2025

Karaoke

From Twonk Comics

I've got an Abba song stuck in my head, I'll be singing it all day knowing me!

Monday, 4 November 2024

Eating For Two

From Twonk Comics

I got myself a vegetable patch.

It's going really well and now I've completely given up eating vegetables.