Benefits Of Working From Home

From Dilbert

Stay Safe While Crossing To The Dark Side

Darth Vader was played by Green Cross Code man, but his voice was replaced by James Earl Jones, when he tried to sneak in the line 'Stop, Luke, and listen!' - Gary Delaney

Black Friday Deal

From Cyanide & Happiness

Measuring Time

From Moderately Confused

Germany is now advising people to stock up on cheese and sausages. This is called the Wurst Käse scenario.

Old Man Masks

From Close To Home

A man takes his wife to get tested. Two days later, he gets a call from the lab.

Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that your wife's test results were mixed up with another patient's. We're not sure if she has COVID-19 or Alzheimer's disease.

Man: So, what am I supposed to do now?

Doctor: Take her for a long walk and leave her. If she finds her way back home, don't open the door.

Countdown

From Matt

Q: What have hairdressers, gyms and the tub of Quality Street in your mum's kitchen cupboard got in common?

A: None of them are allowed to be opened until December.

Weighty Issues

From JimBenton

I've given up drinking until Christmas.

Whoops, bad punctuation.

I've given up. Drinking until Christmas.