Magic Glue

From TheArgyleSweater

It takes a big man to admit that he's wrong, but it takes an even bigger man to give a giraffe a haircut.

Diverse Opinions

 From JimBenton

I went to a restaurant where all the food was created using special effects.

It was CGI Fridays.

Petal Path

From BerkeleyMews

I almost caught a bloke in bed with my missus last night, but he dived out the window as I burst into the bedroom.

So I chased him.

"He went that way," said my mate Dave, pointing to next door's garden.

"Cheers mate, and get some clothes on, you'll catch your death!"

Everyday Problem

From Liz Climo

Ken Dodd said he wanted to leave a quilt on my floor.

I said "Over my bed, Doddy".

Contextual

From Wrong Hands

From Wrong Hands

From Wrong Hands

Scientist Statement: "My findings are meaningless if taken out of context."

Tabloid Headline: Scientist claims "Findings are meaningless."

From LunarBaboon

The TV news just displayed three images of women who claimed that Jimmy Savile sexually assaulted them.

They showed a current picture of each of the women, together with a photograph of each of them taken back in the seventies.

The caption read: 'Now, then. Now, then. Now, then.'

Parents Educating Their Children

From Cyanide & Happiness

The other day I deleted internet history and now no one remembers who Tim Berners-Lee is.