First Trophy

From Liz Climo

The Black Eyed Peas can sing us a tune, but the chick peas can only hummus one.

Fast Service

From Rhymes With Orange

They say a dog can retrieve a tennis ball from over a kilometre away.

That seems a bit far‑fetched to me.

A Job Is A Job

From War and Peas

Remembering Passwords

From Mark Lynch

Just noticed the wife is wearing her sexy underwear.

This can only mean one thing.

She's behind with the washing again.

Social Class Hopping

From smbc

I'm seriously thinking out remarrying my ex-wife;

but I'm pretty sure she'll figure out I'm just after my money.

Scientists' Bets

From See Mike Draw

My wife asked me if I experimented with sex and drugs in school.

I said yes, but I was part of the control group.

Ghost Train

From Scribbly G

I bought a Harrods picnic blanket today.

Not much of a story, I know: nevertheless, I shall be dining out on it for weeks to come.