Robin: "Batman, why do you wear dark colours?"
Batman: "Because Robin, it makes me less likely to be shot"
Robin: "Then why do I wear bright colours?"
Batman: "Because Robin, it makes me less likely to be shot"
Friday, 29 July 2022
Thursday, 28 July 2022
Oops
I hate telling people I'm a taxidermist.
When they ask what I do every day, I say: "Y'know. Stuff."
Wednesday, 27 July 2022
What I Want To Be When I Grow Up
From The Perry Bible Fellowship
It's been proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys.
Girls develop breasts around the age of 13, boys around the age of 40.
Tuesday, 26 July 2022
Taking Advantage
I'm sick of women saying that men "only get into relationships for sex".
Not all of us are that shallow.
Some of us want our ironing done too.
Monday, 25 July 2022
Bad At Names
My wife left me because I'm too insecure.
No wait, she's back.
She just went to make a cup of tea.
Friday, 22 July 2022
Insect Census Takers
How many cockroaches does it take to change a lightbulb?
Nobody knows. Once it turns on, they all scatter.
Thursday, 21 July 2022
Rural Monopoly
Just a little update on the situation with my son because some of you have been fairly concerned.
He has taken going to jail pretty hard. He is refusing all food, spitting and screaming at everyone and is threatening violence at anyone who comes near him. He has smeared the walls with his faeces and is refusing to wear any clothes.
As a family we are united in our decision not to play Monopoly with him ever again.
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