Award Winning Dentist

From Mother Goose & Grimm

My dentist said to me "This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?"

I said "Yes, I'm ready."

He said "I'm sleeping with your wife."

Experienced

From Speedbump

When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a female's body.

Then I was born.

Lonely Mantiss

From The Argyle Sweater

I have two mistresses.

One for penetrative sex first thing in the morning, and one fellator.

Trophies

From Buni Comic

A shark could swim faster than me.

But, I could probably run faster than a shark.

So, in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Tricks Of The Trade

From Mark Lynch

I had my phone stolen yesterday but the laugh's on them,

I've already used up all my free minutes.

Married Robots

From Rhymes With Orange

Reasons my wife gets mad at me:

1. Something something something

2. Some other stuff

3. I don't pay attention when she talks

The Adventurous Approach

From Liniers Cartoon

The only thing flat earthers have to fear . . .

. . . is sphere itself.