Just Japes

From Bliss

TIP: All women find firemen sexy.

Why not treat your lady to a sexy midnight surprise by leaving the chip-pan on when you go to bed?

Customers Who Bought This Item . . .

From Mark Lynch

My latest money making idea was a rubber beach shoe for one-legged people.

It was a flop.

Sweeten The Deal

From Loading Artist

If you're going to the Black Friday sales, please be considerate

and turn your phone sideways before recording the fights.

Emergency Distraction

From Leigh Rubin

"I've made a model of Mount Everest."

"To scale?"

"No, just to look at."

Moving House

From Speedbump

I'm currently moving house.

Has anyone got some spare cardboard boxes?

My ex won't let me live with her.

Salivary Gland Information

From Chucklebros

I'm rubbish with names.

It's not my fault, it's a condition.

There's a name for it . . . errmmm . . . 

Farrrest Gump

From Reality Check

I just watched a pirated film.

On a scale of 1 to 10, I'd give a 3.14.