Preparing The Perfect Meal

From Bliss

I was going to continue garnishing my food

but I ran out of thyme

Rebel Insects

From OffTheMark

For Sale

George Foreman grill set and Mohammad Ali DVDs.

Both boxed.

Dangerous

From Cathy Wilcox

My teacher told me not to worry about spelling because in the future there will be autocorrect and for that I am eternally grapefruit.

Bakery

From JimBenton

A man walks into a bakery, points to some bread and asks, "Is this gluten free?"

"I'm afraid not", the cashier replies, "it costs £2.50."

Help The Hungry

From Faceless

Mushroom Soup,

Chicken pâté,

Halloumi stuffed peppers,

Spring rolls.

And that's just four starters.

Protection Racket

From Bound and Gagged

The man who invented the throat lozenge has passed away...

There was no coffin at the funeral.

Some Days It's Just One Thing After Another

From Liniers Cartoon

What were dinosaurs called before the meteor hit?

Live-osaurs.