Reach and Touch

From Dilbert

I've got a friend who was telling me that he was feeling bad because he couldn't pay his water bill.

So, I sent him a get well card.

Rose Petal Path

From BerkeleyMews

Just impressed a woman with a bottle of lemonade.

I Schwepped her off her feet.

Aeroplane

From Cyanide & Happiness

I've designed an aeroplane made entirely from rubber, so if it crashed, it would bounce.

It's a boing 747

Bunny Pit

From The Perry Bible Fellowship

My mate set me up on a blind date.

He said, "She's a lovely girl, but there's something you should know. She's expecting a baby."

I felt like a right idiot waiting in the pub wearing nothing but a nappy!

Animal News

From War and Peas

I like to take the kids to the marsupial enclosure at feeding time in the evening.

I think it's important to spend koala tea time with the children.

A Day In The Life Of Young Thomas Edison

From Sunny Street

The inventor of autocorrect died

The funnel will be held tomato.

Rock Of Ages

From The Other Coast

When I was a child my parents played Madness and The Specials all day every day.

It was horrendous.

They Ska'd me for life.