Delicious Butter

I visited a little village yesterday and there were some cupcakes on a table with an honesty box at the side.

I took four and placed a note in the box.

It said, "A bit dry and could do with some more buttercream".

Wasted Motorbike

From Faceless

When I was a kid, I used to pray every night for a new bike.

Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me.

How To Eat An Oyster

From Toonhole

Why don't oysters share their pearls?

Because they are shellfish.

Living On A Phone

From See Mike Draw

I'm having people over to stare at their phones later.

If you want to come round and join in you'd be very welcome.

Ghost Cat

From Scribbly G

Always remember, if you travel by ghost train, watch out for the ticketing spectre.

Smart Mouse Attire

From Will McPhail

Mouse trap: £10

Cheese: £3

Coming home to find a house not full of droppings? Miceless.

Dog Interview

From Liz Climo

Interviewer: What would you say are your st...

Me: Strengths? Making inferences from minimal data.

Interviewer: Okay, and your we...

Me: Wheat allergies? None whatsoever.