Hallovenn Diagram of BOOlean logic

From @38mo1

Pumpkin Carving

From GoatToSelf

Does anyone know where adults can go trick or treating?

Looking for a neighbourhood that hands out kebabs and whisky.

Sharing

From Joe Dator

"How would you feel about a threesome?" my wife asked over breakfast this morning.

"Wow, that would be amazing!" I responded surprised.

"Which of my friends would you like me to ask?" she went on, licking her lips seductively.

"How about Rachel and Anna?" I replied.

Wake Up Music

When I woke up this morning my alarm clock was playing The Brandenburg Concertos.

My wife told me not to worry as it always goes Bach at this time of year.

Turning Back The Clock

From Portsherry

If you can't remember whether to put your clocks forward or back this weekend, here's a handy phrase to help you remember:

The clocks go back this weekend.

Disastrous Accident

From OffTheMark

A man rushes to the doctor's and cries out, "Doctor, you've got to help me; I feel like I'm shrinking".

"Calm down", replies the doctor. "You'll just have to learn to be a little patient".

Great Wikipedia Edit

I received an award from the Royal College of Music for "Outstanding contribution to Bagpipes".

I asked, "Why me, I've never even played the bagpipes?"

They said, "Precisely, if only there were more people like you in the world!"