Fitness Tracker

From OffTheMark

The rotation of Earth . . .

. . . really makes my day.

We Made It

From StrangeTrek

My favourite bit of The Bible is where God gives everyone free will and then drowns everyone for not acting like he wanted them to.

Sleepy

From LunarBaboon

I went to see my doctor about my insomnia.

Unfortunately, it turned out that the surgery isn't open at half three in the morning.

Hush Money

From At Random Comics

My wife's gone out for a night on the town with the girls.

She's taken her wedding ring off and left it at home, presumably to avoid losing it if she has a couple too many drinks.

Very sensible. I hope she has a lovely time.

League Cup Final : Chelsea 0 v 1 Liverpool

 

Crab Crossing

From Leigh Rubin

Remember the Tesco horsemeat scandal?

I've just heard that apparently B&Q wooden flooring has laminit.

Basic Grammar Lesson

From Mark Lynch

If, like me, you've ever been accused of being born in a barn and want to chat about it, remember . . .

. . . my door is always open.