Skull And Cross Buns

From GoatToSelf

I'm not saying my New Year resolutions aren't going very well but I've just finished all my Easter eggs.

The Life Cycle Of Pasta

From Wawawiwa Comics

I got fired from the pasta factory . . .

. . . just for making a fusilli mistakes.

Mouse Maze

From Andertoons

Did you hear about that VR headset made out of solid gold?

It shows you an Augmented reality.

Til Deaths Do Us Part

From OffTheMark

Why did the rabbit reject her boyfriend's marriage proposal?

Because the ring wasn't 24 carrots

A Load Of Balls

From Leigh Rubin

I bumped into a friend in the street.

He had a noticeably large bulge by his groin.

"What's going on there?", I asked, pointing at it.

"Tennis ball" he replied.

"Oh mate, I feel for you", I sympathised, "I had that in my elbow once and that was painful enough".

Diet Advice

From Mark Lynch

They say that every piece of chocolate that you eat shortens your life by 2 minutes.

I've done the maths.

Apparently, I died in 1977.

Field Trip

From Bizarro

Do you ever wake up, kiss the person sleeping beside you and feel glad that you're alive?

I just did; and I've been told I'll never be able to fly with Jet2 again!