Picking Up Birds

From Andertoons

I chatted up a gypsy last night.

She asked me to go back to her place for a good time.

She wasn't kidding.

I went on the dodgems, the waltzers and the ghost train, and I returned home with a goldfish.

Do You Like Me?

From ExtraFabulousComics

I told my hot colleague how I felt.

Turns out, she felt the same way.

So, I turned on the air conditioning.

The Story Of My Life

From Loading Artist

Does anyone remember the name of the big bird in Sesame Street?

Spider Vision

From Scott Johnston Cartoons

It's been three months since I sent my hearing aid away for repair.

I've heard nothing since.

Wise Dog

From Half-Full

I used to find it annoying enough when I got my signature wrong.

But now, thanks to my new iPhone, I sometimes get my face wrong too.

Sunnydale Nudist Camp

From Shoe

When I pulled back my curtains this morning, I thought I saw David Jason lying on my lawn.

After a closer inspection I realised that it was just a touch of frost!

The Man With The Flame Retardant Underpants

From The Argyle Sweater

Ok so I am really worried now.

I just showed my GP the rash on my genitals and he seemed pretty uncomfortable like he didn't want to touch it?

He just said make an appointment at the surgery tomorrow and walked off with his kids and shopping trolley.