Tuesday, 31 December 2024

Life In The Fast Lane

From Bound and Gagged

This was the year that was not the year

I repaired the bathroom tap

or emptied out the kitchen drawer

of a lifetime's worth of crap.

 

This was the year that was not the year

my lottery numbers came up.

Once more a BRIT eluded me,

as did an Oscar and World Cup.

 

This was the year that was not the year

I spent less time on my phone,

Nights of passion were not enjoyed

in a boutique hotel in Rome.

 

This was the year that was not the year

I became a household name.

Action figures weren't sold of me.

I wasn't made a dame.

 

This was the year that was the year

I didn't get that much done:

much the same as the year before,

much like the one to come.

 

by Brian Bilston

Monday, 30 December 2024

Introduction

From Jonesy

After every Christmas I get so addicted to eating cold turkey that when it runs out I get withdrawal symptoms.

Friday, 27 December 2024

Levitate

From Liniers Cartoon

I took a levitation class last year.

I passed the first stage with flying colours, but then dropped out.

Thursday, 26 December 2024

Wednesday, 25 December 2024

Tuesday, 24 December 2024

Ladies Night

Don't forget to buy enough food for 27 days today as the shops will be shut for 48 hours over Christmas.

Monday, 23 December 2024

Hang In There Fellas, Not Long Now


On Christmas Eve last year I told my wife I was popping to the shops.

She said, "While you're there, can you get some fairy liquid, detergent and some dishwasher tablets.

I said, "Can't you wait till tomorrow when you open your presents?"