First Birthday

From Buttersafe

Pluto wanted to throw Earth a birthday party on New Year's Eve.

But he forgot to planet.

Mix Up

From Joseph Nowak

Her: I'll have the salad, no nuts, please?

Waiter: Of course,

Me: It didn't say it had nuts.

Her: I'm allergic, so I tell them to be safe.

Me: That makes sense.

Waiter: And for you sir?

Me: Steak, no bees, please?

Self Interested Climate Change Denier

From smbc

I think solar power is the future.

But I don't think that it will happen overnight.

Christmas 2035

I seem to be addicted to cold turkey.

Does anyone know how I can stop?

Favourite Gift

From Speedbump

My wife bought me a bread making machine for Christmas.

So far, I've made a baguette, a bloomer and a tiger loaf.

I'm on a roll now.

Taking One For The Team

From Jon Adams / Cityclops

What did Adam say on the night before Christmas?

It's Christmas Eve.

Brrrr!

From JimBenton

Why was the snowman rummaging through the bag of carrots?

He was picking his nose!